Ginny 4 Arty
by IzztreeRocks912
Summary: Artemis accepts a date from Holly... except it isn't actually Holly. I would like to recognize TheBigCat, who was my first reviewer on my first fanfic, Artemis Fowl Parodies. This is my 2nd fanfic. Comment, please. No harsh comments, but I appreciate advice. Disclaimer: the characters are owned by Eoin Colfer or JK Rowling. I would like to mention my friend randomosity4arty. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

For once in her fourteen years of life, Ginny was obsessed with a boy other than Harry Potter. It was this other, boy, a boy named Artemis Fowl.

Her father, Arthur Weasley, had recently taken to using these things called computers, which apparently Muggles used for almost everything. The whole family had kind of caught on, and now all of them, including Ginny, were using computers. There was this thing called the Internet, which was where people posted things so that anyone could see.

Ginny loved using the Internet, because she was amazed how there was just about everything on there. A few weeks ago, she was just browsing for fun, and she came across what appeared to be some sort of matchmaking Website for teens. It was called Magic For You, so she assumed it was for wizards and witches. She decided to try it out, and so she signed up and filled out the form. One question said, "What qualities are you looking for in a boyfriend?" Ginny said that she wanted someone intelligent, with black hair, round glasses, and a scar on his forehead. Of course she was thinking of Harry at the time, who apparently she thought was intelligent. Merlin knows why.

But her mother was absolutely against her putting her real name, because she thought it wasn't safe, so Ginny put that her name was Holly. She'd always thought that Holly was a nice name, and if she ever happened to want to change her name, she would change it to Holly.

But the match who came up for her was a boy named Artemis Fowl. She thought at first that it was Harry, because the boy had black hair, glasses, and a scar on his forehead. She just assumed he was using a fake name, just like her. But she soon realized that it wasn't Harry, because she scar was just a regular scar and not shaped like a lightning bolt, and he had one blue and one hazel eye, instead of green. But just because it wasn't Harry didn't mean she couldn't fall in love with him. She started researching him more and more, and the more she found out, the more eager to meet him she became. Apparently he was a genius, even smarter than Hermione, with almost 300 IQ points.

A week or so ago, she finally decided to ask him out. She knew his phone number and where he lived, a huge house called Fowl Manor on the outskirts of Dublin, Ireland. But she had been putting this off for weeks, always making up an excuse for herself not to do it. But today, she was going to. Today, she was not going to back out.

She took several deep breaths, picked up the telephone, and dialed Artemis's cell phone number. It rang three times, and then Artemis picked it up.

"This is Artemis Fowl of Fowl Manor, Dublin."

Ginny was rather breathless. She felt like she was having a heart attack. She took three more deep breaths then said, in a rush, "I was wondering if you would go out with me tonight?"

There was a pause, and then Artemis said, "Who is this?"

"Um…Holly," said Ginny. "I-"

"Oh, Holly, it's you! Why didn't you say so before? I was beginning to think you were some sort of crazy stalker or something. So, you say you want to go on a date with me?" He sounded hopeful, like he'd been waiting for this to happen and was looking forward to it. He also sounded like he was expecting her to call. _Maybe he got matched with me on the same Website, and that's why he knows my name already! _Ginny thought. _Maybe he was already planning to ask me out! _She could hardly believe her luck.

"Yes, um, maybe tonight at, um, the Italian place near your house?"

"All right, see you then. Goodbye, Holly." He hung up.

Ginny couldn't believe he'd actually accepted.

She looked in the mirror, admiring her new haircut. Her mother had recently cut her long, red hair chin length. Ginny thought it looked kind of military style, like a crew cut or something. She liked it.

Ginny started preparing for her date tonight.

Artemis felt a little bit giddy. He couldn't believe Holly had finally asked him out! He'd been thinking about doing it for a few weeks now, but hadn't because he was nervous. He had been so relieved when Holly called him so he wouldn't have to call her.

It all started a few weeks ago when he'd been browsing through the Internet, he'd come across a teen matchmaking Website. It was called Magic For You. Artemis assumed it was for fairies and had been posted by some fairy, so he signed up. On the question "What qualities are you looking for in a girlfriend?" he put that he wanted someone who was a good fighter who had short red hair. Of course he had been thinking about Holly.

He hoped that Holly, by chance, had signed up as well, and that the Website would pair them up. So you could imagine his excitement when the site said that he and Holly were a perfect match. Of course, it was actually Ginny and not Holly, but Artemis had no way of knowing that. With her new haircut, Ginny actually looked almost exactly like Holly. And also, it just happened that Ginny's fake name was Holly.

After Ginny/Holly had hung up, Artemis stood up from his office chair and went to look at himself in the mirror. He silently cursed his appearance. The black hair, suit, and hazel and blue eyes were the same. But there were two things different. He silently cursed his appearance.

A week or so ago, his mother, Angeline, had decided he needed glasses after he bumped into a tree while taking a morning stroll because he couldn't see properly. The glasses were completely round and looked absolutely ridiculous on him. Glasses may suit some people, but not Artemis Fowl. Possibly even worse than the glasses was that when he had bumped into the tree, he had gotten a big scratch on his forehead from sharp tree bark. The scratch had gradually healed, but there was still a scar there that had proved it happened.

Artemis tried to cover the scar up with his hair, but it still poked through. As for his glasses, there was nothing he could do. Artemis sighed. But, he thought, Holly would understand. She would laugh at him, yes, but she would understand. Still, Artemis decided that if he ever got through this date alive, he would convince his mother to let him get contacts.

He started getting ready for his date. A while later, he started looking through his suits, trying to decide which one to wear tonight. At last, he settled on one. Not because he thought it was best, because he didn't. He'd just chosen a random one because his suits all looked identical to pretty much everyone but him. He'd just pulled it off the rack and looked at the clock to see how much time he had left to get ready before he realized that he and Holly had not actually agreed on a time for the date. He put the suit back and called Holly (the real Holly, not Ginny, because he had no idea that it was actually Ginny who'd called him) to set a time for him. Holly picked up on the third ring.

"Hello, Artemis, what's up?" asked Holly.

"Well, I just realized that we never agreed on a time for our date tonight."

There was a pause. Then, "Did we have a date?"

"Yes, Holly! You called me about it not two hours ago! At the Italian restaurant near my house, remember?"

"Well, it must have slipped me mind. You know how forgetful I am these days. But, since we have a date, how about seven thirty?"

"Great," said Artemis, and hung up. He took out is suit again, but just then, his phone rang. It was Ginny/Holly.

"Hi, Artemis! Listen, how about six thirty for our date?"

"All right," said Artemis.

Of course, Ginny had probably realized they hadn't set a time yet as well, but as far as Artemis was concerned, Holly was just changing her mind. He had no idea it was two different people.

He resumed his task of getting ready for his date.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry, this chapter is kind of short.

Holly hoped she looked alright. She didn't have many clothes suitable for a date. She had nothing even remotely fancy, except her LEP dress suit, which she would rather die than wear for a date. In the end, she just grabbed the first thing out of her closet that she found, due to lack of time.

She wasn't very worried, because she guessed Artemis was probably having trouble preparing as well.

She passed Foaly in the hallway. "What's the big occasion, Holly?" He said it in a casual way, but Holly could tell he knew what was going on and was just trying to get her to admit it. Well, since he already knew, there was no point in lying.

"If you must know, I have a date tonight."

"With who?" Holly knew he knew the answer to this as well.

"Artemis. No need to get a big head. Or, at least a bigger head than you already have."

Foaly, of course, ignored this. "Holly and Arty, sitting in a tree," he started singing. "K-I-S-S-I-N-"

"Don't you dare finish that!" Holly warned.

"But I have to."

"Why?"

"Because if I don't, it'll be slang. And you know my brain is hardwired against slang. So, G."

Holly just rolled her eyes.

Artemis hoped he looked alright. He'd chosen another one of his suits. Since that was what he usually wore, he didn't feel too uncomfortable.

He walked into the living room, where Beckett and Myles were playing. Once Beckett spotted Artemis, he jumped up and started singing, "Arty and Holly sittin' in a tree. I like worms and worms like me!" He smiled, obviously proud of his own made up lyrics.

"That's not how the song goes, you simple-toon!" said Myles

"Don't call your brother a simpletoon! I mean, simpleton!" Artemis warned.

Beckett ignored him. "It is too! Because I said so."

"Well, it doesn't matter," said Myles. "Because here's a better song. Arty likes Holly! Arty likes Holly! Arty likes-"

He stopped in mid-chant because Artemis had started chasing him around the living room. Obviously, this was what he wanted Artemis to do, because he was smiling. Artemis didn't find out why until, SPLAT! Beckett slapped probably a whole bottle of hair gel on the back of Artemis's head.

Artemis had to take three more showers to get it out. When he got done, he punished Beckett by throwing away is jar of mold and dumping his jar of worms in the garden, and he punished Myles by sentencing him to two weeks of French lessons.

Ginny hoped she looked alright. She didn't have many clothes suitable for a date with a Muggle, since most if the fancy clothes she owned were wizard dress robes, and she thought that would look kind of strange in an Italian restaurant full of Muggles. In the end, she just borrowed an outfit from Hermione.

After she got dressed, she started fussing over her hair. Of course, with her new haircut, there wasn't much to fuss over. Fred and George noticed this and asked why on Merlin's name she was dressed like a Muggle about to go on a date.

"That's exactly what I'm pretending to be," Ginny snapped because she was impatient with a strand of hair that was out of place. "I have a date and I'm going to a Muggle restaurant. Naturally, I have to look like a Muggle."

"Who are you going with?"

Ginny didn't want to tell them that it was anyone other than Harry, but she couldn't lie. So she just showed them a picture of Artemis because he looked kind of like Harry and hoped they wouldn't notice that he had a blue and a hazel eye instead of green, or that he didn't have a scar on his forehead. Or that he wasn't wearing glasses.

Of course they noticed, but they didn't say anything. Ginny resumed fussing over the stray strand of hair.

"We have some hair gel that might help with that," George told her.

"Thanks, " said, going into the bathroom to apply the gel. What she unfortunately missed was the evil grin Fred and George exchanged.

A few minutes later, Ginny stormed out of the bathroom, her arms crossed, her face so red that you almost couldn't see her freckles. Her hair had turned purple and was sticking out in all directions. Fred was holding the cure in his hand. Ginny grabbed it, but he held it out of her reach. "We're not giving it to you until you tell us who you're going out with." So of course, Ginny had to explain about Artemis, and then she had to spend half an hour redoing her hair. When she was done, it was so late that she had to go by broom to Dublin to be on time.

What she didn't say was that she took Fred's broom to the restaurant, and a few hours later, Fred and George had found that George's broom had mysteriously appeared on the roof.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's notes: If you read my profile, you know that I'm under 16 (not saying exactly how old) so the writing may not be that good, but please cut me some slack. Comment please!

This chapter is much longer than the last one. Also, this is the final chapter.

Ginny arrived at the restaurant. Well, actually, over it. She looked around to make sure there were no Muggles around to see her flying on a broom, then landed on the ground and hid her broom (well, actually, Fred's broom) in a bush. She smiled, wondering whether or not they had found George's broom in the roof yet. Probably not. When they did find it, though, they would probably play some prank on her to get back for the broom incident. She didn't really care at this point, though. She had gotten back at them, and that's what mattered.

Anyway, she walked into to the restaurant and found Artemis already sitting at a table. He looked nervous. She could understand that. She felt nervous, too.

Ginny walked over to the table and sat down. The first thing Artemis said to her was, "Since when did you get so tall, Holly?"

Ginny was startled, for two reasons. First of all, because he'd called her Holly (but then she remembered about the whole name thing, so it just boiled down to one reason after that), and second if all about the height thing.

She just assumed that Artemis thought she was shorter because she got the measurements wrong in the Website. And just when she thought she'd finally gotten these Muggle measurements right! How depressing.

(Ginny was aware that is was a wizard site, but when she was filling out the form it said Height-Feet and Inches.)

Her face turned red (it seemed like that had been happening a lot these days). What would happen if Artemis found out she couldn't even measure?

Artemis must have mistaken her embarrassment for anger that he hadn't properly greeted her, because he said, very hurriedly, "Hi, Holly, how are you doing?"

"I'm great," Ginny replied

"So, do you want to order or something?"

"Sure!"

They started talking, and it was becoming less and less awkward. When their food came, they were talking as easily as if they'd known eachother forever.

But all of that was about to change.

Because at seven thirty sharp, in walked Holly. The real Holly.

And boy, was she mad when she saw them.

Butler was not accompanying Artemis to his date.

But then again, it would have been hard for him to.

Why? Because it's hard for anyone to accompany their employer somewhere when they don't actually know their employer is going somewhere.

Artemis had not told Butler because, frankly Butler would have wanted to come along and it would have been awkward. He didn't tell anyone, in fact. Not even his parents.

But Juliet knew. It turns out, she had been lurking near the doorway of the living room during the hair gel incident with Beckett and Myles, and of course she overheard everything.

After Artemis had washed all the hair gel out and given the twins their punishments, Juliet had started going overboard with giving Artemis fashion advice.

Juliet had told him that the suit he was wearing was like, sooooo yesterday and picked out another one for him.

So Artemis had to change again. He acted like he was annoyed, but really, he was grateful, because Juliet had more expertise in this area than he did.

After he made Juliet promise not to tell anyone, he had set out on his date.

When Fake Holly walked in, the first thing Artemis said, of course, was extremely stupid.

"Since when did you get so tall, Holly?" he blurted like an idiot.

Maybe he was now suffering from some alternate form of Atlantis Complex or something that was yet to be discovered, in which the symptoms were being really stupid instead of really paranoid.

But it was true. It looked like Holly had grown more than a full two feet since Artemis saw her. She was now over five feet tall. Maybe elves had giant growth spurts or something.

But Holly's face had now turned a nice red to match her hair. Artemis knew he had been rude by not greeting her correctly, so he said hurriedly, "Hi, Holly, how are you doing?"

The following conversation was very short and very awkward, mostly thanks to Artemis.

However, things were starting to get less awkward, and when the food came, Artemis and Holly were talking as easily as ever.

And then the real Holly walked in.

Of course, the first thing Artemis said to that also extremely stupid. "Since when do you have a twin sister, Holly?"

Artemis had always been good at catching the penny before it dropped, so he realized what was going on. Fake Holly must be some other girl named Holly who looked so much like the real Holly that Artemis had mistaken her for the real Holly.

Of course, now that he saw the real Holly compared to the fake Holly, he could clearly see the difference. Fake Holly's hair was a lighter red, and Holly's was more auburn. Plus, Holly had one blue and one hazel eye, and both of Fake Holy's eyes were brown. How could he have been so stupid?

Real Holly just walked right up to Artemis and shouted, "You are dead to me, Arty. Dead to me!" And then she turned and stormed off.

Fake Holly stood up. "Actually, Artemis, my real name is Ginny-"

But Artemis wasn't listening. He had run out of the restaurant after Holly.

Holly stormed out of the restaurant. She couldn't believe it. Artemis had asked her out, and then he'd shown up with a girl who, as far as Holly knew, Artemis didn't even know. And all this time Holly thought Artemis had changed...but he hadn't. He was still the lying, evil boy that he used to be. She should have seen it earlier. People like Artemis just didn't change. She just couldn't believe it.

Holly needed some time alone. She walked around to the side of the building and sat between two bushes What appeared to be a broomstick was lying in one of the bushes. Usually Holly, being as curious as she was, would have questioned this, but tonight she hardly noticed. She was too busy trying not to cry.

Then she sat bolt upright. What was she doing, breaking down over some Mud Boy? She was an elf. And she was the first female officer in Recon. She didn't cry. So instead, she got angry.

She grabbed the wings that she had used to fly here (they were hidden in the bush opposite the broomstick) and strapped them on. She was about to take off when Artemis burst out the door. Spotting Holly, he ran over as fast as he could (not very impressive, truth to tell) and shouted, "Holly! Holly!"

Holly just ignored him. She shielded and then flew up into the air.

"Holly! Let me explain!"

At this, Holly turned around. "What is there to explain? You've said it all. I thought you'd changed, Artemis. I thought you'd become good. I thought you weren't the lying, evil scum you used to be. Well, congratulations, Artemis Fowl. You've managed to trick me again."

"Wait, Holly! Just give me one minute, okay? One minute and you can think whatever you want."

Holly thought about it. "Fine," she said, and landed back on the ground. "One minute, and then it's over."

"Okay, look, Holly," said Artemis immediately. "I have no idea who that girl was-"

"You got that right," Holly snapped. "Here you are, choosing some stranger over me."

Artemis frowned. "Okay, look. If you're going to interrupt me, my time doesn't count."

"Forty seconds, thirty nine, thirty eight, thirty seven..."

"Fine," said Artemis. "Look, I saw that girl on this matchmaking Website-"

"What were you doing on a matchmaking site?"

Artemis chose to ignore this to spare him the humiliation. "Anyway, I saw her, and her name was Holly, and you know, she looks kind of like you, so I thought she was you."

Holly snorted. "You really expect me to believe that?"

"Look, I'll show you the Website-"

Then Ginny burst through the door to join them and said, all in one breath, it sounded like, "Look, my real name isn't Holly, it's Ginny, but my mother was paranoid about putting my real name because of safety issues or whatever, but anyway, I'm assuming Artemis thought I was you from my picture, because, you know, I look kind of like you, but I'm really sorry about asking him out, I had no idea he already had a girlfriend!"

At this , both Artemis and Holly turned red. Holly had never been so embarrassed, and she was sure it was the same story with Artemis.

"I'm not his-" Holly started to say.

"Oh, yes, I'm sure you're not," said Ginny. "Anyway, I'm really sorry!"

Then Artemis showed Holly the Website with Ginny's picture. "Believe me now? Please?"

Holly took a deep breath, then smiled. "Fine," she said. "And just one thing, Artemis."

"Yes?"

"I'm proud of you for going on that matchmaking Website. It's almost like you're a normal teenager."

Holly could just imagine Artemis making a mental note never to go on any teen sites again.

The End

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